A saying that I heard a lot in my younger years was ‘you’ve been brought up, not dragged up’. This was a reflection of my mother’s amazing parenting skills and my solid (if unorthodox) family upbringing. I was raised in a single parent family, just me and mum, but we did live next door to my nan and uncle. This provided a very safe and happy childhood which saw me spending time between both houses, my nan teaching me poker aged 6 and my uncle sometimes in an almost brother role playing on the Megadrive with me. The poker carried on till my nan’s death when I was 17 and the Megadrive till I was about 8 and started consistently beating my uncle at any game we owned. My mum has worked for most of her life and gave me as much love as a mother can give a child, this instilled in me a good work ethic and a deep level of compassion and a love for hugs!
But being good can have its
obstacles and can provide a strain on an otherwise balanced lifestyle.
Obviously we need to start with a definition of being ‘good’, the dictionary
would state ‘being morally right’ or ‘showing kindness’. Urban dictionary on
the other hand provides these high thinking gems, ‘opposite of bad’ and ‘to be
modestly exceptional in bed’. I can assure you before writing this article I
wasn’t setting out to focus on the latter! Ignoring the comedy that the
internet creates, there are a number of challenges that present themselves when
we set off upon the path of the righteous.
Temptation: Everywhere we go there
are situations or events that provide us chances to be good and act in a
saintly way. Also many people class being ‘good’ as sticking to diets and
staying away from junk food. Well, unless you’re a farmer and only eat your own
produce you’re going to find a ton of temptation at every supermarket or shop,
from chocolate to vodka, and all with gleaming offers and deals to help your
conscious give in and indulge. Being good can also class as being faithful when
in a relationship. When I was in my last relationship I had a ton of
opportunities to cheat if I had wanted to and several girls I knew/know had no
qualms about the fact I was in a relationship as they weren’t after commitment
or anything. The total lack of moral compass didn’t really surprise me though,
it’s the world we now live in.
Money: Or a lack of it can really
dent our chances of being as helpful and decent as we would like. Christmas has
just been and gone and all the message we are given is that we should all give
whatever we can to help people all over the world. I’ve seen an awful lot on
Facebook people stating they’ve been getting an increased level of charity
letters and phone calls asking for aid and support. This apparent barrage of
pleas for aid and help raises in itself an important question, among others
such as why aid is needed in the first place. What if you don’t have any money?
I know a few people who literally don’t have anything spare to give to others,
even if they wanted to, does their lack of donating make them a bad person? The
festive period is full of fundraising and photos of people doing ‘their bit’.
Does me sitting at home, detached from all this activity make me a ‘scrooge’?
On a personal note, no it doesn’t. I actually do a fair bit myself in the local
community and donated several hampers I was gifted by people to local charities
that help the homeless and those families in need of assistance. The argument
against this notion is that there are many things which we can do which cost us
nothing but time to get involved and feel that we’ve made a difference. I
volunteered at a youth theatre school back in the summer as a director for
their debut musical. I didn’t ask for any money for doing this, not even petrol
money and did I enjoy the experience and feel I was making a difference? Yes! I
got to meet a great bunch of people, make a direct impact on their lives and
can sit typing this knowing that many class me as a friend.
Jealousy: Frequently we can
overcome most of the obstacles that are set against, only to be faced by the
green eyed monster. People (who often live in glass houses) look at those who
do great deeds with a dubious suspicion that they must have an ulterior motive.
These souls are often ones that are rarely good, therefore they feel jealous
when other people can achieve heights they are unable to reach. I help run a
theatre company based in my hometown and we have several remits which we try to
stick by. For these reasons we could easily be a target for naysayers as we
focus on developing new talent in theatre rather than be content with a limited
pool of friends and family. Also we have an open door policy which welcomes
anyone regardless of experience or background, we further reinforce this may
charging no audition or membership fees. Some could try and see our charitable
pursuits as vanity, but in actual fact we simply want to help build up our
local community and offer assistance in any way we can. To this end we have
donated tickets to raffles, given money from ticket sales to worthwhile causes
and did a great deal of fundraising for Cancer Research and the British Heart
Foundation. Don’t get me wrong, we’re certainly not alone in wanting to help
people. There are several others run locally who follow similar veins of
thought as us and run concerts and fundraisers, but I’m sure they’ve probably
faced the same challenges we do.
I’ve focused on three areas that I
feel present a challenge to being good, but there are scores more which I could
explore. I think though that these key areas present the main bulk of obstacles
and allows you, my dear reader, with a heads up to avoid the fate of less hardy
souls. My advice? Everything in moderation, i.e. let yourself be tempted sometimes
as this will help your self-regulation. Don’t feel bad if you can’t donate the
next time you see someone with a charity tin outside a supermarket, instead
give someone you miss a text or hug that loved one a little bit tighter. Lastly
on those jolly green giants, ignore them. If they want to fester in
self-loathing, let them. You can only answer for your actions to either
yourself or him upstairs (if that’s something you believe in). If you feel
you’re doing enough, chances are your right. So kick back, enjoy a glass of red
and bask in the moment, because chances are, you had a good old climb getting
to the summit!
As ever, thank you for your supporting and reading my blog and if you want to get in touch send me an email at chris@cd-productions.co.uk or visit the website www.cd-productions.co.uk