Moving out of your comfort zone

A recent conversation with a member of my theatre company has got me thinking.. The discussion was around the limits and boundaries we have (or in our cases don’t have) when it comes to performance and actor interaction.  I’ve been fortunate enough to have been involved in some fantastic musicals over the years, including two favourites of mine, RENT and Spring Awakening. The subject matter of each can be very hard hitting and at times isn’t for those easily offended. Jumping on tables and singing at the tops of our voices that we celebrate people whatever their sexual orientation in ‘La Vie Boheme’ was a great experience, but it didn’t really challenge me as I have very open opinions about people in general. Sure it might have been uncomfortable for the very minority of the audience, but you wouldn’t go along to watch RENT if you wanted a cute sing-along ‘everyone lives happily ever after’ musical. People live and people die, and it’s the rawness of this and the many messages it conveys that makes it a favourite of those who prefer something a little different.

Spring Awakening is again a musical that deals with hard hitting topics from rape to suicide. It follows the stories of a group of children growing up in Germany at the end of the 19^th century and the rites of passage they individually go through. I won’t go into too much detail as to not ruin the plot for anyone who hasn’t seen it but it was one of the first experiences I had of having my boundaries pushed. I can recall turning up to a rehearsal one day and being told by the director that I would be involved in a scene that had myself and several other chaps pretending to pleasure ourselves in a huddled group. I handled the news fine as in day to day life I have the least physical boundaries of anyone I know, but it did cause a bit of uproar with some of my fellow cast members. I think the point I’m making here is that the actions or dialogue that shock us or make us uncomfortable in our private lives often set the rules of engagement when performing in theatre.

I think this is wrong for several reasons. First of all, as my friend Georgie pointed out, when you perform you are taking on the skin of someone else. Thus it wasn’t ‘me’ that was doing that on stage, it was the character I was portraying. Surely the challenge as a performer is to distance yourself from the role you’ve been given and to build the meat around the bones that have been set out by the director. I take the viewpoint that ‘it’s just acting’ and when you scream and get in someone’s face on stage, there is no personal (or very little) feelings of my own coming across. If you go down the route of recalling past emotions and experiences to make your perform more convincing, does that mean that in fact you are in fact replacing the previous target of your love or hate with the actor in front of you?

If I stand opposite a girl and tell her I love her more than anything in this world, but at that same time try to remember those hazy days when I was first in love, am I mixing the then and now or am I just attempting to mimic those feelings? The other option is to drive straight in and try to form such a bond between you and the love interest that in fact there is some real semblance that feelings exist. Going on dates, walking around in a distance town holding hands and occasionally pulling her close for a smooch would in theory develop a level of feelings, even if they are forced. The question then is how do you protect yourself from allowing any real feelings to grow or do you even need to? I guess the answer depends on whether you’re single or not, if you are then there isn’t anything to worry about because if anything does develop, so what? Of course when you’re in a relationship certain boundaries might need to adhered to, but then you wouldn’t necessarily throw yourself into the role in the same way, or you would do different things to develop the chemistry.

Back to boundaries, I am sad to say I can’t think of much that would scare or terrify me. Obviously as I’ve said, nothing ‘physical’ would make me flinch, aside from maybe dancing about in my birthday suit! As for topics or subject matter, I’ve played roles ranging from Buttons in pantomime to the physically abused Smike in Nicholas Nickleby and as I mentioned at the start I’ve been in shows that have dealt with HIV and homosexuality. Often the challenge when working with people who are new to theatre or have been very typecast is to bring them out of their comfort zone somewhat and see how they cope. It also depends on their mind-set and how seriously they take theatre and the role they are given. After speaking to Georgie last time I have no doubt she would do practically anything to ensure that a relationship or scene comes across as genuine and believable to the audience. In fact the classic reaction you want is for them to wonder if there is in fact anything going on between actors; such was their chemistry and connection on stage.

Perhaps my most challenging role will be my next in the play I’ve written which will be performed at the Camden Fringe Festival this year. ‘Three Blinks For…’ explores the journey a man and his loved ones go on after he is involved in a drink/drive accident and left nearly completely paralysed. Able to only communicate via blinking, the play looks at the strain of caring for someone with Locked In Syndrome and also the inner torment the sufferer goes through. This is conveyed by lines of ‘Blink’ or ‘Blink Blink’ spoken to replicate the actions, and spoken dialogue (heard only by the audience) expressing his thoughts and feelings that otherwise go unseen. The challenge for me will be a scene with my best mate Dan, who plays an abusive respite carer who takes out his anger and frustration on me to the point of tipping me out of my chair and screaming at me to get up and prove that I’m still a man. The first time we ran this scene it was electric. As I lay prone on the floor with him towering over me the feeling of just how vulnerable I was suddenly struck me and despite trusting him explicitly, the fear that he could do anything and my character would just lie there really hit home the actual reality sufferers go through.

 Of course I’m just grateful that I get to be involved in theatre and work with some of the amazing people that I can consider friends and fellow actors. I’m pleased that the sense of family that exists in our theatre company allows for the freedom for people to be themselves and makes sure the environment is comfortable enough for people to throw caution to the wind and throw themselves in roles. Looking ahead at some of the projects in the pipeline I’m excited for the future, not just for myself but for the other people involved. Having the ethos of developing new talent always has its own challenges, but also means that their journey is often a greater and more fulfilling one when they make progress and inevitably do you proud on stage. I think perhaps the reason I haven’t got much that will put me out of my comfort zone is the trust that I have in everyone I work with at C&D, and if that’s the reason, well I can consider myself very lucky.