The Challenges of being ‘Good’

A saying that I heard a lot in my younger years was ‘you’ve been brought up, not dragged up’. This was a reflection of my mother’s amazing parenting skills and my solid (if unorthodox) family upbringing. I was raised in a single parent family, just me and mum, but we did live next door to my nan and uncle. This provided a very safe and happy childhood which saw me spending time between both houses, my nan teaching me poker aged 6 and my uncle sometimes in an almost brother role playing on the Megadrive with me. The poker carried on till my nan’s death when I was 17 and the Megadrive till I was about 8 and started consistently beating my uncle at any game we owned. My mum has worked for most of her life and gave me as much love as a mother can give a child, this instilled in me a good work ethic and a deep level of compassion and a love for hugs!

But being good can have its obstacles and can provide a strain on an otherwise balanced lifestyle. Obviously we need to start with a definition of being ‘good’, the dictionary would state ‘being morally right’ or ‘showing kindness’. Urban dictionary on the other hand provides these high thinking gems, ‘opposite of bad’ and ‘to be modestly exceptional in bed’. I can assure you before writing this article I wasn’t setting out to focus on the latter! Ignoring the comedy that the internet creates, there are a number of challenges that present themselves when we set off upon the path of the righteous.

Temptation: Everywhere we go there are situations or events that provide us chances to be good and act in a saintly way. Also many people class being ‘good’ as sticking to diets and staying away from junk food. Well, unless you’re a farmer and only eat your own produce you’re going to find a ton of temptation at every supermarket or shop, from chocolate to vodka, and all with gleaming offers and deals to help your conscious give in and indulge. Being good can also class as being faithful when in a relationship. When I was in my last relationship I had a ton of opportunities to cheat if I had wanted to and several girls I knew/know had no qualms about the fact I was in a relationship as they weren’t after commitment or anything. The total lack of moral compass didn’t really surprise me though, it’s the world we now live in.

Money: Or a lack of it can really dent our chances of being as helpful and decent as we would like. Christmas has just been and gone and all the message we are given is that we should all give whatever we can to help people all over the world. I’ve seen an awful lot on Facebook people stating they’ve been getting an increased level of charity letters and phone calls asking for aid and support. This apparent barrage of pleas for aid and help raises in itself an important question, among others such as why aid is needed in the first place. What if you don’t have any money? I know a few people who literally don’t have anything spare to give to others, even if they wanted to, does their lack of donating make them a bad person? The festive period is full of fundraising and photos of people doing ‘their bit’. Does me sitting at home, detached from all this activity make me a ‘scrooge’? On a personal note, no it doesn’t. I actually do a fair bit myself in the local community and donated several hampers I was gifted by people to local charities that help the homeless and those families in need of assistance. The argument against this notion is that there are many things which we can do which cost us nothing but time to get involved and feel that we’ve made a difference. I volunteered at a youth theatre school back in the summer as a director for their debut musical. I didn’t ask for any money for doing this, not even petrol money and did I enjoy the experience and feel I was making a difference? Yes! I got to meet a great bunch of people, make a direct impact on their lives and can sit typing this knowing that many class me as a friend.

Jealousy: Frequently we can overcome most of the obstacles that are set against, only to be faced by the green eyed monster. People (who often live in glass houses) look at those who do great deeds with a dubious suspicion that they must have an ulterior motive. These souls are often ones that are rarely good, therefore they feel jealous when other people can achieve heights they are unable to reach. I help run a theatre company based in my hometown and we have several remits which we try to stick by. For these reasons we could easily be a target for naysayers as we focus on developing new talent in theatre rather than be content with a limited pool of friends and family. Also we have an open door policy which welcomes anyone regardless of experience or background, we further reinforce this may charging no audition or membership fees. Some could try and see our charitable pursuits as vanity, but in actual fact we simply want to help build up our local community and offer assistance in any way we can. To this end we have donated tickets to raffles, given money from ticket sales to worthwhile causes and did a great deal of fundraising for Cancer Research and the British Heart Foundation. Don’t get me wrong, we’re certainly not alone in wanting to help people. There are several others run locally who follow similar veins of thought as us and run concerts and fundraisers, but I’m sure they’ve probably faced the same challenges we do.

I’ve focused on three areas that I feel present a challenge to being good, but there are scores more which I could explore. I think though that these key areas present the main bulk of obstacles and allows you, my dear reader, with a heads up to avoid the fate of less hardy souls. My advice? Everything in moderation, i.e. let yourself be tempted sometimes as this will help your self-regulation. Don’t feel bad if you can’t donate the next time you see someone with a charity tin outside a supermarket, instead give someone you miss a text or hug that loved one a little bit tighter. Lastly on those jolly green giants, ignore them. If they want to fester in self-loathing, let them. You can only answer for your actions to either yourself or him upstairs (if that’s something you believe in). If you feel you’re doing enough, chances are your right. So kick back, enjoy a glass of red and bask in the moment, because chances are, you had a good old climb getting to the summit!

As ever, thank you for your supporting and reading my blog and if you want to get in touch send me an email at chris@cd-productions.co.uk or visit the website www.cd-productions.co.uk